well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
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I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
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Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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