Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
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