DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
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