yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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