i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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