So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink