i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.