I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.