i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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