I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
