Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize