i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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