she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize