I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.