forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
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Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
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Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting