I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
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btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
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my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?