It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.