I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
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There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.