my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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