This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
