his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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