I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
