It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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