my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
