why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Well I just put wine in my tea
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize