So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert