how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
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I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
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Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?