Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
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It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
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He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in