I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT