spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
i think im in europe. pls send help
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
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