problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
nutella sex= disaster
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
