im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Randomize
