Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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