I think I died a long time ago.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
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