my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.