The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring