So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!