i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
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I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
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Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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