Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
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I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
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I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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