4 words: hood of his car
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
