Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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