She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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