I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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