I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
