i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
