I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize