That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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