You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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