he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
