so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
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I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
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you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.