i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.