one word: firstdatebathroomanal
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
These 21 FaceApped Celebrities Will Make You LOL
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE