You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Apparently you make a good broom.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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