Need sex. Gaining weight.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
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you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
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Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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