we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
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That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
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