chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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