the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
