i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet