And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex