Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia