Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i will never coherently bang her
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before