Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen