I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.