I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.