I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.