Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
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On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
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And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.