that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
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I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
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3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office