Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
This is my life. Enjoy the view
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
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