Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
