I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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